Holidays: When the Family Tries to Marry You Off

He don’t exist. This imaginary eligible bachelor? Yea, give him up. I’m not about to marry anyone no time soon.

Haven’t been in my own apartment (roommate free) for more than 3 months and folks already trying to get me to put a man in it. I was just trying to enjoy my good Thanksgiving meal when the ole church mother/family friend starts chattin about I should be looking to get married now, just seconds after I was being congratulated for being a real adult.


Absolutely Not. 

I need at least some more years of sprawling out across my own bed, tracking around nekkid, and arranging my stuff the way want before we talk about having a nigga come mess up my feng shui. I don’t even have a boyfriend right now, how we skip all the way to “I do”?

Putting an asterisk next to black women’s accomplishments because she doesn’t have a husband is just wildly played out. I’m really trying to figure out when yall are gonna get tired of that. It’s only kinda funny now because I’m barely 25, but I can imagine these conversations irking me on a whole different level the closer I get to 30. Also, why should I be looking for a husband at 25 in this economy??


“Marry Me?” Is Not an Accomplishment.

Having someone ask to marry me isn’t a goal or accomplishment on the same level as me getting degrees or financial independence from my parents. It just ain’t. I feel like that’s why so many indoctrinated peoples are suffering past “I do” because the goal was just to reach marriage, the work was never really clear. It’s convoluted to conceptualize companionship as an achievement because it’s not a “this is the end” goal. Marriage is quite obviously the beginning of something as opposed to the culmination. I’m just reaching stability. Why would I go mess that up with bringing a new variable into my situation any time soon? Y’all must not wanna see me win.

So please, don’t disrespect my achievement with an “Incomplete”. I like it just fine being alone in my sucka free apartment. Allow me to enjoy me. I promise you ain’t nobody ready for this jelly for the rest of their lives anyway.

Are yall also dealing with this at family functions? What’s the clapback like? Do you clapback at all? I wanna know sis cuz I need to take notes.



2 thoughts on “Holidays: When the Family Tries to Marry You Off

  1. Love it! Wait until you’re ready not when everyone else is ready!! This is exactly why the divorce rate is super high. We get impatient with the process. Issa smart lady with a good head on her shoulders!! Yassss sis!!

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