A lot of shit went wrong these last couple weeks.
My birthday post didn’t happen because I didn’t get what I expected
My love life is in lowkey shambles
I’m pretty much going to have to retake a whole class
And I made some blunders at work that had my nerves bad.
Yes, I’m 24 now
So first, I had a whole post planned out to talk about my birthday, me transitioning into my Kobe year, and showcasing some bomb ass pictures I took at a shoot. This didn’t go quite right. I was not thrilled with the end result. And I just don’t feel like I could have finessed it to my liking. That was a bummer.
My “love life”. (**Insert eyeroll**) I can’t deal with these #444 ass dudes and their way too late Confessions Part 2. Like, ima need somebody who is going to be completely cognizant of the fact that they have a PARTNER and not a wet nurse. Currently taking sugar daddy applications. Only.
I wanna be a REAL adult
I don’t wanna go into detail about what happened with the class, but just know I’m at a point where it was the nail in the coffin for me. Grad school had taken all the joy and light out of my life. Particularly this PhD stuff. I’ve just been so uninspired at several points in this journey. And all I see at my current position is a long list of people who barely have graduate degrees and are being flown out by their companies all expenses paid so they can “work” Like I said on FB: I want real coins and a real apartment that days I’m unmarried and fabulous, a real savings account, brunch, and spontaneous vacations. Real feelings….
Don’t be surprised if I don’t return to school next year. The sweet part of the story is, I have a potential teaching job lined up to fall back on.
Sis, take a nap.
Work, or my VISTA service rather, has actually been going well. It’s reaffirmed my faith in my abilities outside of being an academic. I just had my nerves twisted up when I realized I mistook one black man for a whole other black man, to non-black people. Which came out at a networking event.
Super uncute. My coworkers and director are actually really gracious people that allow me room to not be perfect. I’m still struggling with this. Lol.
Yet with all of the crappiness that has been my life, I still have to keep pushing forward, pretending that this is lemonade I’m drinking and not piss water.
So in the spirit of taking shit in stride: Welcome to my 24th year. I like long walks, Booty rubs, and Hood N**gas. Unapologetically.
This is me.
This year has been about recalibrating, rebuilding, and reinventing. I’ve bounced back from some rough shit and here I am still standing in my ghetto booty glory. #StilliRise
A salute to the future waiting for me to walk into it. To the credit score I’m tryna get back, the waist size I’m tryna reclaim, and the prosperity ave I’m bout to walk on when I start living for real.
And I’m still cute enough to get free drinks at the bar. Hello 24.