Trash Black Men: The Narcissists of the Black Community

One thing we need to recognize is when a man wants to be trash and stay trash. There’s some business equation out there that can easily explain why investing any energy in this type of person is a full waste of time.

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I’ve rid myself of trying to “convince” trash men that I am a person and that other women like me are people and that other women unlike me are people. When I say women unlike me, I mean women who are not pursuing PhDs, may have never set foot on a college campus and can’t relate to “sophistiratchet” memes with twerking on one half and a graduation gown on the other.

I had a conversation yesterday with a male friend of mine and we were talking about this very thing. He shared a story with me about a black male who proclaimed that because his father wasn’t in his life, he is now trash and as a result tells women who come his way that he is trash and they should expect nothing more.

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Why do they say dumb crap like this?

Many black men enjoy victimhood. They enjoy victimhood because they get to absolve themselves of responsibility for life. They tap into a perpetual state of being “wronged” by every damn body including the black women who birthed them. By the aforementioned person assuming his life is trash by the absence of a father, he is also indicting the way he was raised by his mother (assuming that he was raised by his mother). And that’s what many black men are doing when they claim that they have been malnourished without the presence of their sperm contributors. (I also recognize that some don’t have fathers because of tragedy). The idea the mere presence of this man would have made life better also sheds light on how little they regard the strength, determination, and general contributions of black women.

Have a conversation with black men about social justice for the black community where black men are not centered. See how quickly that shit falls apart. Trash black men are narcissists. They will quickly make sure that the black community is centered around themselves. This is why those conversations about Bill Cosby and R Kelly don’t go too right. They’ll do everything they can to justify themselves and center themselves as the white man’s victim and they want to always be recognized as such. They’ll tell everybody that the white man just wants to see Bill down, and that the young “legal” girls that R Kelly can’t seem to get away from are just disobedient whores. All this, so they can continue to be centered as the official victims of the Black community so and enjoy the freedom from responsibility this affords.

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Why am I saying this?

Because I need for us black women who romantically love Black men to stop internalizing their trash. Don’t be that woman on the receiving end of “I ain’t shit so… don’t what you want with that”. Don’t accept that. And don’t try to change any man who proudly proclaims that there is nothing in him to be desired but still wants to enter the depths of your soul with his Vienna sausage. There’s nothing to gain from that. Unless you’re at peak hoeness and apply all the principles of Cardi B theology to a trash situation and come up off lovely off that man, leave that man alone. I beg of you to let that man flop in his trash by himself.

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But then what to do if that trash seems to really to be washed and sanctified and made whole? Trash does not have to stay trash. But it is not your job to clean it up.



11 thoughts on “Trash Black Men: The Narcissists of the Black Community

  1. I laughed at so many parts but it’s all true! I look at some men, hear the words coming out of their mouths, and then cringe when I see women clinging to them like they’re gold. Come on! Have some self respect. He’s flat out showing you, telling you he’s garbage and you hook up with him anyway and then wonder why nothing ever works out right.

    It’s really sad that black men (I’m sure not all, of course) really feel like they need a man in their life to show them how to be a proper “man.” (Rolling my eyes over here) Work with what you have and stop using step backs as excuses. Yes it makes life harder (sadly we have a lot of things counting against us). No it doesn’t give you the okay to give up and treat everyone else around you like garbage because of setbacks in your life.

    You’re also completely right about the conversation mainly centered around them (when it comes to black injustice). I have no problem fighting other people’s battles when I feel like the cause is just but it’s not right to have to stand alone when our own problems come to light. Where is the outrage against the issues we face? Mention equal pay and they disappear, don’t think it exist. Mention sexual harassment at the work place and some just think it’s for attention or that we should quit our job instead of the assaulter being fired. I know there’s black men out there standing up for black women but honestly it should be A LOT more.

    PS – If your a man and think you’re trash, DO NOT talk to me or any other person romantically until you get your life together. PERIOD! Stop wearing that flaw like a badge. And women stop letting them get away with it, pleeeease! (I know everyone who’s reading this blog probably has common sense and already knows this xD but please pass your common sense on to misguided souls)

    • ALLLLL OF THISSSSSS. It’s the EPITOME of mediocre to just claim that you’re trash and you’re going to be trash. Like how does that even work? Why are you okay with this? It’s ridiculous. But yes. Passing on the common sense, one affiliation at a time.

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